As many of you know - I got rid of my t.v. set a few days ago. When was it exactly? I guess the day after the election. (It's not like when you stop smoking and you are counting every day. Phew, made it through another day.)
No. What happens is the fact of the missing t.v. begins to fade out and other things take its place. The main thing is that you don't feel as connected to all the bad things that are happening in the world. You are not bombarded by shots of the fighting in Fallujah; or pictures of a dead, he is dead, Arafat.
Instead, as it begins to get dark, you find yourself listening to better music; sometimes simply staring at the ceiling wondering what to do next; and then hearing yourself think more clearly. Yes, that may be the most startling thing that happens.
In the pre-t.v. days, the set would be on as company most of the day, and it was only after it was flipped off, and just before I went to sleep, that I would begin to hear myself thinking about things.
Now - and I know this must seem weird - I actually hear myself thinking at several different times, unscripted times - of the day.
I am not trying to sell this whole thinking idea. I'm not sure if I like it happening more often. It may turn out to cause some trouble. I just put it down here to note it, in as clinical a way as I can.
Oh. Maybe I should say what I mean by thinking. I just mean that you find that you can hear your own voice a bit clearer. It is always there. But it starts bubbling up to the surface with more regularity.
I mean that you hear other things that have been all around you - that you didn't pay attention to. In my case, I was wondering what a certain hum was. The computer was turned off. The air-purifier was off. What was that hum. I got out of bed and hunted it down. The fan, on the external drive bay was still spinning.
I know, I can hear you now. Must be boring to get to the point where you hunt around the house for such noises - but it isn't. Okay, maybe it is a result of some boredom, but I don't have a fireplace like in the old days to sit in front of. And staring at the radio is dumb, at least I haven't gotten to that stage yet.