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Sunday, February 20, 2005

Foggy Pond, Central Park 2005

Looking south from 110th street.

10:03:41 PM    

A few days ago, while I was visiting the Metropolitan Museum, I ran into an old friend who is working as a guard there. He has always been an eccentric type. I don't think he'd mind me saying that. Anyway, we got to talking and I was telling him about what I was up to, and I mentioned that the blog was getting pretty popular and he told me this weird story. Not weird for him, but weird for anyone else.

He said that after working at the museum for three years, one day he was there at night, helping arrange some mummies or something in the Egyptian section, when he had a vision. He didn't tell me what it was, but he did say that if I was interested, he would send me descriptions of some of these visions and I could stick them in the blog if I wanted. He just didn't want to get in trouble with anyone and insisted on writing under the name of A. Gumbler. I told him that was okay, but the visions should be about either New York, or photography, or something of general interest to anyone. This is what he just sent:

Field of Dreams

By A. Gumble

I predict that Mayor Bloomberg will end up in the psychiatric wing of Bellevue Hospital by Thursday evening. He will be diagnosed with Kostner Syndrome after admitting that he has been hearing recurring and increasingly unbearable voices in his head.

The event that will precipitate this final stage of his mental breakdown will be a dinner at his Upper East Side townhouse at which he will host the13 members of the evaluation commission of the International Olympic Committee, who have come this week to assess the city�s bid to host the Olympic Games in 2012.

But the stress on Bloomberg will be building all week as the members of the assessment committee tour potential Olympic venues. They will be treated to rooms at the Plaza Hotel, horse-drawn carriage rides to a special show at Lincoln Center, and they will have a special subway map at their disposal. Drawn up by the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, it shows all the proposed venues, even ones that haven't been built yet, like the West Side stadium.

Nothing will go right for Bloomberg this week. On Monday morning, at a rally scheduled in Rockefeller Center to demonstrate public support for the Games, protesters from opposing West Side neighborhood groups, Cablevision, and the competing cities of Moscow, Paris, Madrid, and London will disrupt the proceedings. Effigies of Bloomberg wearing running shorts will be burned.

The next day saboteurs will turn the horse-drawn carriage ride to Lincoln Center into an equestrian nightmare by overdosing the horses with steroids, thereby causing them to leap over parked taxi cabs in a drug-crazed race uptown.

On Wednesday, the special MTA subway map showing potential venues will be secretly altered and the committee members will find themselves hopelessly lost in those sections of the Bronx and Brooklyn that Olympic developers have neglected to include in their proposed renovations for the city.

On Thursday, at Bloomberg�s dinner party, the end will come for our good Mayor. Instead of the NY Jet cheerleading squad showing up as planned, the Jet offensive line will show up and perform a surprise re-enactment of the original games in Athens in which the athletes competed in the nude. Bloomberg will be carried out from his townhouse screaming the fateful words that have been reverberating in his brain for months, �If you build it, they will come.�

7:05:24 PM    

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Last update: 3/7/2005; 11:45:06 AM. Click to see xml version of photo blog